Smile Because It Happened

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” — Dr. Seuss

Approximately 5 months ago, I was given an opportunity to switch things up a bit come Autumn… I took that opportunity. It will go into effect one week from today.

It really just donned on me last night what this means. I’m leaving one of my favorite places in the world. I know many people who have moved away from this relatively small town recently, all with varying degrees of excitement about their departure. I can’t say I’m excited to leave.  I don’t question my decision – I know it was the right one to make. But I am suddenly realizing just how much I will miss my life here!

I swear it was just yesterday that I pulled up to the Chehalis Starbucks and introduced myself as the new transfer. I sat almost exactly where I am sitting at this very moment and waited for my new schedule. I remember only too well the awkwardness of being ‘the new girl’, and I’m not anxious to acquire that role once again. I’ve met scores of people in this crazy establishment – partners and patrons alike. It will be odd to walk in 6 months from now and know only a handful of the baristas behind the counter. But I know the faithful few will remain, and I’ll look forward to seeing their faces more than they’ll probably realize!

Immediately after that first stop, I made my way to my church (also synonymous with ‘home’). The, shall we say, stomping grounds of my first eight years of life. So many memories from the past. I had no way of knowing how much more it would shape my life as an adult. I don’t think I could properly express just what the past three years at Bethel have meant to me. One thing is certain – I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The life of an intern is nothing to take lightly. It’s like a full-time job (and then some) plus school… But I don’t regret it for a second. I’m not gonna lie though – I’ll be just fine if I never stack chairs again Internship was so much more than the ‘slave labor’ that it’s teased for. The personal & spiritual growth amounts to something that money can’t buy (although without the monetary funds, I wouldn’t have been there!). I know without a shadow of a doubt that SOM was where I was supposed to be.

After SOM graduation, I was hit regularly with the inevitable question by many – “What next?”. My answer was true, but saying “I’m not sure” over and over got old quick. I was waiting for direction. And waiting. And Waiting. In the meantime I acquired a second job – watching the babies in the church nursery. A couple of months after that, I got a third job – nannying two adorable little boys two days a week. To say the last year has been a whirlwind would be an understatement. But I didn’t feel truly exhausted til summer hit. Having three jobs gave me enough variety that I didn’t have time to get bored with one job at any given time. By the time I needed to do something different, I was on to the next job! Plus it kept me out of trouble

But now I can see the finish line of this three-year period. The following seven days will be full of ‘lasts’. Sunday will be my last day in the nursery, as well as my last church service at Bethel. Wednesday will be my last night at Fusion. Thursday will be my last day with the boys. One week from now I will be driving through Chehalis for the last time as a resident – from that moment on, I will be just one more visitor.

 

But with every end comes a new beginning… Perhaps what is to come will be an even grander experience than what I am leaving behind!

My How Time Flies…

I believe my last blog post was over 2 years ago. In that time, I’ve been to Europe and back, added a sister-in-law to the family, graduated SOM &  added a nephew(!). Those are just the highlights.

Some things have remained constant. I still work at Starbucks (I’m beginning to think that will last forever). I live in the same town and attend the same church.

While the biggies have remained the same, I’d like to think I’ve grown at least a little in the last 26ish months. I’ve greatly increased my love of sewing – It’s evolved from a side hobby to a bit of an obsession. One I believe I’ve inherited from my mom, and she from hers. I’ve loved books forever, but I’ve definitely burst the previous bubble that contained my literary world. I’ll never look back I’ve also added two more jobs to the mix. I’m the lucky nanny of two adorable boys (3 &1) and a Nursery attendant at my church. I guess you could say I’m rarely in need of a baby fix!

I can’t promise I’ll stay on top of this silly little attempt of a blog, but I’ve been thinking about starting back up for a while. Maybe the occasional nudge will be needed. Time will tell!

Some days are a blur of craziness. Others are nothing but shenanigans. Every once in a while I’m attacked by a doozy of a bad day. Whatever the happenings, my greatest goal is to live each day as best I can, ever in awe & full of wonder of the beautiful life I’ve been bestowed!

 

Coming to an end…

Next week is my last week of being a ‘first-year’ intern. Its incredible to me the events that have taken place over the last year! I have learned so much about God’s never-ceasing love and faithfulness. My faith in turn has increased ten-fold.

My summer will be an adventure (to say the least…). I’m beginning to feel a little bit nervous about flying to Germany by myself, but I know God will be with me, and with my parents, giving them a sense of peace.

Next Wednesday will be my last week with ‘my girls’. I am an assistant teacher to a group of 1st-4th grade girls on Wednesday nights. Last night we had 24 girls (3 regulars were missing!). The weather was incredible, so they played follow the leader out in the field. They had such a great time!

I know I’ll see them when I return, but it won’t be the same. They are such an incredible group of young ladies!! I can’t wait to see how each and every one of them turns out.

Next Wednesday I’m putting on a ‘real’ tea party for them. My wonderful mommy has graciously allowed me to borrow 37 tea cups and saucers. Lets cross our fingers that the same ammount comes back to her!

Family

This will be a short post, but I feel the need to share my excitement. Tomorrow I get to see my family. Not just my parents and siblings, but my entire {maternal} family!! This doesn’t happen very often, so these coming moments will be cherished forever!

Although I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, there are definitely two people I’m very excited to see

The first is my mother – She is my source of all creative endeavors and everything I hope to be as a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend.

The second person is my lovely sister – I seriously doubt you could find two sisters who had such different personality types. I think that’s one of the biggest things I adore about our relationship. It just goes to show that you don’t have to have anything in common to be friends

I haven’t seen either of these lovely ladies since Christmastime – I just want it to be tomorrow night!!

A European Adventure

I haven’t mentioned it on my blog yet, mostly because it wasn’t for sure, but now it’s looking as if its really going to happen!
I am going to spend the month of June and the beginning of July in Stuttgart, Germany!

I will be staying with the family I nannied for in Spokane. I spent New Years’ with them, and they asked if I would like to spend part of the summer with them – their treat!  ‘Dad’ is contracted out by the military, and they moved to Stuttgart in the last couple of weeks. Some of the variables have changed since January, so I’m crossing my fingers that things will still work out.

Just researching makes me more and more anxious to go… the pictures I’m discovering are breathtaking!

Full Week…

I’ve been told that its more pleasant to read a blog if there are pictures to accompany it. This is difficult at the moment because my camera recently died a horrible and tragic death.  I guess I’ll have to be happy with pictures from the past!

I’ll begin with a photo from last spring at my parents house…

My computer tells me this was taken on April 19th… sorry mom, you’re still a ways away from pretty flowers!

The next photo makes me a little teary eyed  – it brings great memories.

Easter 2007

Miss you Papa – can’t wait to see you again someday!

So this week had a crazy-busy kick off on Sunday night. We (leadership at Bethel) are in the midst of Fusion live week.

-side note ‘Fusion’ is the name of the youth group at Bethel. ‘Fusion Live’ is a performance that the students do. They’ve broken off into teams [worship, drama, human video, dance, etc] and will go on tour this summer down the west coast. We’ve been practicing every Sunday night since October, and now its time to show everyone what we’ve got!

So Sunday night was a big practice night, as was Monday. We had our dress rehearsal after some practice last night. Our first performance of the year will be tonight at 7pm tonight, and we will do it again tomorrow night. I’m really excited – the students have done an outstanding job. They are so devoted to there teams. I’m honored to be a part of it.

If you think about it tonight and tomorrow, please pray that the performances go well. Everyone has practiced so long and hard. They’ve poured out so much of themselves. Please also pray for the people that will be attending. The theme is ‘scars’. There are will be some very powerful points into the night.

For good measure, here’s another pic from the past.

My adorable cousins Katie and Abbie in July 2005.

Loss For Words

I just returned from Summit Youth Leaders Conference held at Stone Church in Yakima, WA. I knew from the statements of others that I would have an amazing time. But really, I had no idea.

There aren’t words to describe how I feel right now, but I’ll try. At this moment I’m energized, yet completely exhausted (and apparently contradicting), light-years beyond excited, full of hope for the future. The lyrics to the ‘theme’ song of the weekend describe how I feel completely;

“Awaken my dreams – Passion arise – In Jesus’ name confusion I bind – Restore to me life /\- Breath on these dry bones – Faithful, faithful!”

I’ve never lost sight of my passion for missions, but had definitely fizzled recently(something I was not excited to admit). I was starting to question my calling when I wasn’t receiving returns to emails of inquiry about a specific organization I was particularly excited about serving with. A couple weeks ago a good friend said to me, “Lauren, maybe God just wanted to see if you would say ‘Yes!’” This stirred something inside of me. I’ve had my heart set on India for some time – I had envisioned myself helping girls who had been forced into the human trafficking industry. To be perfectly honest, my heart breaks to think I might not be called to go to that area of the world. The strings of my heart were attached to India – God wouldn’t really sever those ties, would He??

Here’s what I’m getting to – I’ve come to the realization that its not for me to say where God does or does not want me to go. Honestly, I doubt I’ll really know for quite a while. I’m trying to be content with knowing that He has an amazing plan for my future. I know I’m going to accomplish great things for His Kingdom. I might not end up where I origionally thought, but that’s OK. My passion for young people isn’t restrained to the borders of one continent. I’m confident that I’ll fall in love with whatever country He wants me to be in ministry at. He just wants to know that my response will stay the same!

On a sad, and slightly random note, my camera is broken. The screen is cracked and I have no idea as to how it happened. Very aggrivating! So sorry to those who have a hard time reading without pictures. I’m not sure how to help you…

A new trend?… we’ll see

So I’m working on sending out support letters right now. It’s not going as quickly as I’d like… most likely because I’m attempting to write a personal note to each person. Hopefully they’ll all be in the mail by the end of the week.

Something I’ve included in each letter is the address to this very blog, promissing to keep people updated on what I’m up to. Shouldn’t be too hard, right? I’m a ridiculously busy intern, with something new going on all quite frequently. I may need a reminder every once in a while

So, what’s new right now? Nothing spectacular comes to mind. I’m pretty busy with preperation for finals right now. I’m currently taking a class on spiritual leadership and a class that is supposedly the most difficult out of the whole two year program – Eschatology.

The first page of my book defines eschatology this way:

“Eschatology comes from the two Greek words ‘eschatos’, meaning ‘last’ and ‘logos’, meaning ‘study of’. When you put them together, you get ‘study of last things’. Eschatology… There you go! (I added the last part for you ‘Greek Wedding’ fans out there!)

So that’s about it for now… I’m about to be kicked out of the Starbucks lobby, so I better scoot

A Testimony

Part of my evangelism final is giving my testimony in five different places/ways.  I’m a procrastinator by nature, and find myself needing this done six hours ago (Mom-I know this is a problem that I need to work on. No need to remind me … but I made sure my room was clean before I left this morning!… progress in some areas is good).  Moving on.

I thought it would be neat (and convenient) to post it on my blog. But I need to get some feedback from people, mainly so I can turn this in There will be three questions following my testimony… I would love for you to comment!!

Here we go… (I apologize, I can’t seem to get rid of the silly text below.)

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I’ve always struggled with thinking I didn’t have much of a testimony. Growing up as a pastor’s kid means being at the church whenever the doors are unlocked. I can’t tell you how many heart wrenching life testimonies I’ve heard. It’s always wonderful to hear of God’s amazing grace and love – but what about me? I was a good kid – a ‘model PK’, if you will. Would people ever be touched by my story? Did I even have one?

I’ve always been fascinated by missions. I suppose I’ve inherited that from my parents. They were always taking their youth group on a mission’s trip, or helping out a missionary somewhere in the world. But I got my first missions ‘bite’ when I was 14 years old. I discovered child sponsorship and decided that it was my responsibility to take on a child. So I found a little girl in Thailand who shared my birthday! Little did I know that by sponsoring Janjira, I was opening my heart to much bigger things! Three years later I found myself on an airplane destined for that very same country.

God definitely knew what He was doing in leading me to Asia. It’s not like this comes as a big surprise. I’d been told from birth that God knows more about me than everyone – even I. I guess it just hits home when it becomes vividly clear to your own eyes. God knew that by the end of those two weeks, my heart would ache for Thailand and the surrounding Asian countries. He knew the things I would be exposed to – the things that would pierce my soul. Things that would make me grateful for my own safe upbringing, but at the same time make me want to dig in my heels so I could stay and help.

You see, my eyes were opened to the horridness of the world we live in. I discovered for myself the things the media hides. And I wanted to make a difference! Unfortunately, I didn’t keep fanning that fire, and it slowly withered away… but it didn’t quite die. I didn’t become a ‘bad’ person, I just wasn’t doing everything right.

Over many seasons of growth and backsliding I found myself at a crossroads. I could either keep on living my apathetic life, or I could finally accept the call God had placed on my life and jump back on the path he had laid for me. I was in such a place of loneliness and very stagnant in my spiritual life that I was growing increasingly frustrated with myself. Inside, I wanted to please God and trust in Him, but I struggled with my fleshly pride – I didn’t want to give up.

My turning point happened around 2am one morning. I woke up in a start, and knew something was wrong. I got out of bed, and (oddly for myself) grabbed my Bible. I started reading from Haggai. This has never been a book that I’ve felt a particular connection with – I don’t think I’ve even heard a sermon preached from it. But I opened to it nonetheless. Something struck me – I had my first God-moment in a very long while. This short book speaks of God’s longing for the temple to be rebuilt, but no one is willing. Verse 6 says “… you eat but are not satisfied. You drink but are still thirsty…” That was exactly how I felt. But I really lost it when I got to verse 12. There were a few young people who took initiative to rebuild the temple. They were unaffected by everyone around them. Their sole purpose was to please God. Verse 13 says this, “Then Haggai, the LORD’s messenger, gave the people this message from the LORD. “I am with you, says the LORD!””

So there I was, 20 years old, laying facedown on the carpet in my room, crying my eyes out. God kept calling me to a purpose, but I was ignoring Him. I was doing my own thing – following my own agenda. But I knew something was missing. I was not satisfied with where I was. I wanted to feel God’s presence again in my life. I wanted to hear Him say “I am with you!” I longed to know that His favor was on my life. In order for that to happen, I knew I needed to release control and relinquish my rights.

After a series of many “God things”, I found myself living by faith every day. I moved back over the state not even knowing where I would be living. As I neared my destination, I received the blessing of a free place to live. I started the school not knowing how I would come up with payments. With all past payments combined, I’ve paid, with my own money, less than 25% of tuition. God has blessed me time and time again in every aspect of my life.

I continue to wonder why He would want me – but I’m willing to accept the challenge. Every day I’m a work in progress, but the important thing is I’m growing. I’m getting closer to my savior, and he continues to lead me. Every day I’m comforted by one of my favorite verses. “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you” Isaiah 26:3

So here’s your part -

What did you like best about the student’s presentation?

How could the student improve in the way she participated (please don’t say something about time management!)

What other words of encouragement do you have for the student?

Thanks to you!

A Prayer

You have made me exactly how you want me to be. You created all of my silly idiosyncrasies. They aren’t random – You designed them for a purpose. I might not know why, but that’s OK. You don’t need to reveal Your plan to me. I’m learning to be content with knowing You are mapping out my life for me. I’m confident you can do a much better job than I can. I praise you with my every breath. Oh LORD! Only you are enough to satisfy this soul!

Your amazing grace, constant love and never-ceasing companionship astound me! I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I would not be where I am today if not for You. You were with me when I was confused. When I was lonley, you never left my side. In this season of joy, You celebrate with me!

My God! Don’t let me become complacent in my faith. I want to continue to grow to become more like you! Bring more people into my life who will hold me accountable! It’s so easy to some up with stupid excuses – Let them see through my facade. I’m not always smiling on the inside – You know that.

In the same way, LORD, make me an encourager to those around me. I want to lift people up and help them growl May I never be one that tears people down! I want to learn how to confront people in love, then gently lead them to restoration!

May you be at the center of all I do! I don’t want to take my eyes off of you, lest I lose sight of my (Your) way!